In the series of The Biggest Mistakes Singles Make When Wanting a New Partner.
Too often I’m hearing that the only way to meet people is via online dating sites.
If this is something you have either said or had said to you by a friend, then this post is for you!
I guess the reasons people say this are many and varied but I have listed some of the reasons below;
Often social circles have shrunk by the time we’re into our 40’s and beyond as our friends are usually in couples and are busy with either children/grandchildren, aging parents or pressures from work.
Singles see the online digital world as a way to meet new people and regain control after a long term relationship has ended.
Meeting new people organically is significantly more difficult once we reach our 40’s. In our 20’s/30’s we often used to meet new people in bars, at a party, through work etc and by simply being out and about. But once we hit our 40’s and beyond those opportunities become much rarer. We’re not sitting in bars every Friday night waiting to be chatted up, we are juggling all of life’s demands, making it much harder for new friendships and relationships to happen naturally.
This is where the dating apps come into play; they are easy access, you can sit at home in your pj’s swiping profiles, you can set your own specific criteria, location, age, interests, relationship goals etc.
And we tend to think with the thousands (or millions) of people on the apps, we are bound to meet someone we can build a future with.
What we often haven’t factored in are the outdated profiles, the misleading intentions (those seeking casual encounters rather than a serious commitment) and the embellished lifestyles.
We can start to gain huge romantic interest in someone based on their profile and messages sent, before we have even met them, only to be disappointed when we do. And that’s if we do actually get to go out on a date.
The apps are notorious for ghosting (cutting off communication abruptly with no explanation) and having too much choice (we often feel that there could be someone better just around the next corner/swipe).
And don’t get me started on rejection. Sending messages and getting no response, or being told you’re not a match for someone/not their type. How do they know that based on just looking at a picture, cos let’s be honest not many people actually read the profile?
Talking of “types” I think that’s a whole new post in itself as something I feel quite strongly about! So watch this space.
But if online dating hasn’t been working for you what other ways of meeting people are there for you to consider?
Why not start with your friends. Ask them who they know that is single and get them to introduce you.
Look at social groups or those based around hobbies and common interests is another great place to start.
And then of course if you’re serious about finding a partner there is the personal one-to-one matchmaking service of Genuine Connections. With a range of membership options available, there’s a way to get started whatever stage you’re at.
If online dating has worked for you, that’s wonderful. But if it hasn’t then don’t make the mistake of believing you’ve run out of options.
Every week I meet genuine, kind, relationship-minded people who have stepped away from dating apps because they were tired of endless swiping, conversations that went nowhere, or trying to work out who was genuinely looking for a meaningful relationship.
The good news is that there are still plenty of ways to meet someone. Whether that’s through shared interests, social events, introductions, a trusted matchmaker, or simply putting yourself in environments where you’re more likely to meet like-minded people, the opportunities are out there.
The important thing is not to let one disappointing experience convince you that finding love isn’t possible.
So, here’s a question to leave you with…
Have you decided that online dating is your only option, or have you simply forgotten that there are others?
Sometimes, finding the right person isn’t about trying harder. It’s about trying differently.
Your regular dose of genuine advice, real-world dating tips, and confidence-boosting reminders that love is never out of reach. Whether you’re diving back into dating or just dipping a toe, think of this space as your encouraging nudge, your friendly cheerleader, and your go-to guide for doing love the grown-up way.
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