How Do I Meet Someone?

This is a question that I frequently get asked when chatting to singles.

They have very often had bad experiences with online dating apps not working for them and want a better way – in fact I’m often told that they feel as if they’re designed to fail.

The other scenario is that for someone in their early 50’s or beyond who has been in a committed relationship for the past 20-30+ years and now find themselves single again, the online dating world can be a scary place, especially as it didn’t even exist when they were dating in their 20’s!  It’s not something they have ever experienced before and they have heard all the horror stories and negative feedback from others, so this is more often than not a route they don’t want to venture down.

Back in their 20’s they were used to going to bars, nightclubs and talking and meeting potential partners there.  Nowadays this is just not the same and as we are older we tend to go out in groups, or at least pairs and so it can be intimating to approach someone, particularly when you have no way of knowing if they are even single.

Other ways of meeting people organically are to join interest groups, such as a walking group, the gym, an art or music group etc or volunteering for a charity you support.  There are obviously no guarantees with this and again lots of the members will be happily coupled up already, but you are at least mixing with others with similar interests to yourself so it lends itself to forming a connection.

Singles events are a great way of meeting others – look for the ones that are tailored to your age group and lifestyle. These could be specifically dating based, such as speed dating or more social based like an activity based event such as bowling or painting etc.  They can also just be social mixers over drinks where you get to mingle, meet face to face, with the knowledge that everyone in the room is single.

The truth is meeting someone organically can absolutely happen, but it can also take a lot of time, energy and luck.  The hardest part of dating is often not wanting love, but knowing where to find people who are genuinely looking for the same kind of relationship as you.

Sometimes you just need a different approach and that’s where matchmaking can feel very different.

Rather than relying on chance, it offers a more supportive and intentional way of meeting people, especially for those who want something more meaningful, personal and to find genuine connections.

However you choose to date the most important thing is that you keep yourself open to opportunities and connection.  Love rarely arrives when we have completely given up on the possibility of it.

Cath x

A matchmaker for those in their 40’s, 50’s 60’s 70’s and beyond in the South East of England, covering Sussex, Kent, Surrey, Hampshire

Aldershot, Ashford, Basingstoke, Brighton, Chichester, Crawley, Dartford, Eastbourne, East Grinstead, Farnborough, Guildford, Hailsham, Hastings, Heathfield, Horsham, Maidstone, Portsmouth, Sevenoaks, Tunbridge Wells, Uckfield, Woking, Worthing

Your regular dose of genuine advice, real-world dating tips, and confidence-boosting reminders that love is never out of reach. Whether you’re diving back into dating or just dipping a toe, think of this space as your encouraging nudge, your friendly cheerleader, and your go-to guide for doing love the grown-up way.